Divorce is a difficult time for any couple, with emotions running high and often an unpleasant undertone. Serving your divorce papers is often seen as a final symbolic statement of the death of the marriage, and if it hadn’t hit home until that point that your marriage has ended, the divorce papers will achieve that realisation. Thus serving divorce papers is often a traumatic, but nevertheless essential practice in bringing the marriage to its legal conclusion. But when should you serve your divorce papers, and how does the process of serving work?

Serving your divorce papers isn’t a decision to take lightly, and it is an important legal process. However, because of its final nature, it’s important to time your delivery. Make sure there are no means to negotiation remaining with your former partner, and that there is no room for reconciliation except through the legal process. Serve the papers when you are sure you have exhausted all other avenues available, and when you are convinced it is the only available next step.

The process of serving divorce papers requires some form of acceptance from your spouse, which is usually in the form of a signature through accepted delivery. The deliver is usually conducted by the postal service, recorded delivery to provide proof that the petition was received by the spouse. The divorce papers themselves detail the legal case for divorce and the request made to the court – in this case, that the marriage be legally nullified.

Prior to serving divorce papers, it is essential to get in touch with an attorney qualified and experienced in dealing with divorce issues, which will ensure you adhere to all the procedural requirements of filing for divorce. Likewise, your attorney will be able to advise you as to the best way to complete and serve the relevant paperwork, and how to proceed with your case in court. While you will have to pay professional rates for their services, it is worthwhile to secure a strong lawyer in your field, with a view to settling on the best possible financial deal as a result of your divorce proceedings.

Children have the right to:

9. Love as many people as they choose without being made to feel guilty or disloyal.

10. Continue to be kids, i.e. not take on adult duties and responsibilities or become a parent’s special confidant, companion or comforter (i.e. not to hear repeatedly about financial problems or relationship difficulties).

26. Choose to talk with a special adult about their concerns and issues (counselor, therapist or special friend).

Walking away from a marriage doesn’t allow you to walk away from your other obligations: to your former spouse, and to your children. Families are viewed as cooperative units in a legal sense - the mother and father work together to provide and raise the children. Whether that entails one person in full time paid employment and the other on childcare duties, or a rotation of both, the long lasting impacts of divorce on the family situation require special legal remedies and particular circumstantial provisions.

Most people believe that the process of divorce severs all ties with their former spouse. But did you know that many jurisdictions impose a discretionary alimentary allowance? That is to say, where on spouse has formerly been dependent on the income and financial support of the other, the divorce shall not prejudice his or her position by denying the right to an alimentary allowance from the spouse. The remedy? A discretionary periodical payment from the former bread winner - even after divorce.

Divorce Checklist #1 -

Were you the bread winner? Did your spouse have no employment of his or her own? >>> You may owe an alimentary obligation, at the discretion of the court depending on your jurisdiction

Likewise your kids are still your responsibility - even after the dust has settled on your marriage. Depending on your income the amount you will be required to pay will vary. As a rule, most jurisdictions work on either roughly 20% of your income or a fixed amount payable per child over a certain earnings threshold. If your child is under 16, 18 or 21 depending on jurisdiction, you might also have to pay up for their upkeep.

Divorce Checklist #2 -

Did you have children with your former spouse? Are they still under 16, 18 or 21 depending on jurisdiction? You may be liable to pay for the upkeep of your child/children, variable up to as much as 20% of your salary in certain areas. Consult your attorney for more details on your potential obligations.

However, remember that both spouses will usually have a right to maintain contact with their children following divorce, which can be forced through the courts if necessary. If you do choose the legal route for your access, however, make sure intimation of proceedings to the child is dispensed with as part of the legal craving to avoid any ill feeling or damage to your paternal or maternal bond.

Divorce is a court matter. It’s the judicial separation and dissolution of a legally binding marriage and without it neither party can have the matrimonial contract set aside. Unfortunately it’s often an emotional time too, and feelings don’t tend to mix well with the law.

Sending and receiving divorce papers isn’t pleasant, but it’s got to be done. Usually with the help of an attorney you’ll file the case for divorce which is rarely heard before a judge and is rarely disputed apart from the financial element. In fact, the serving of documents is much more of a formality than some people make out, although it is still important to make sure you understand what you’re doing and the gravity of your decision.

Sending divorce papers to your former spouse isn’t usually something that can be done alone. Your attorney will be knowledgeable about the procedures for divorce processes in your local area and will be best placed to advise you on how to proceed. Make sure that before you send the papers you are happy with your decision to go through with divorce and that you are satisfied that your marriage has broken down - this is usually seen as the point of no return.

You don’t need an attorney to receive divorce papers, although if you’ve not already spoken to a solicitor by the time the papers are served upon you it might be best to make an appointment. More often than not you’ll be asked to sign for the papers upon arrival, as a means of ensuring there is evidence of your receipt. Take your time to read through the details, including the grounds for divorce. Most of the time, this won’t be contested and will be something of a general ‘break down’ clause, which alleges no blame. However it’s important to make sure you understand the content of the papers to be sure you’re not getting the raw end of the deal.

Keep in mind the feelings of your partner and try not to get spiteful when exchanging the papers. Whilst it’s a difficult time for you both, the legal side needs to be taken care of so you can both move on and cooperation with the process really helps speed things along to resolution, which is undoubtedly best for both you and your former partner.

One of the most difficult elements of settling any divorce proceeding is determining who gets what from the matrimonial estate, and whether or not any ongoing provision need be made to sustain the remaining spouse or indeed any children of the marriage.

In the absence of pre-nuptial agreements, divorce is a messy business which almost certainly requires the input of divorce attorneys and the courts when it comes down to dividing the assets of the marriage. That’s why you need to be familiar from the outset with your potential financial obligations and exactly how much you could end up paying your former husband or wife.

In most jurisdictions (although this can vary), there is a 50% rule. What that means, by and large, is that the estate is divided equally between both spouses on divorce, leaving each with exactly half of the aggregate property. In effect, this closes any gap between spouses, say where one is in full time employment and the other is dependent or one owns property and investments and the other looks after the house and children. Of course, the all important detail varies between place to place - what property is up for division?

Often the property to be divided is any property acquired during the course of the marriage. In other words, savings, chattles, housing - anything bought after the marriage is available for 50/50 division between the two spouses on separation. However in some jurisdictions, such as California, the rule goes further to split entire net wealth 50/50, which is obviously more significant and arguably more inequitable.

A crucial financial obligation that is often forgotten but still remains in a large number of jurisdictions worldwide is the obligation to aliment a dependent spouse on divorce. In other words, if the husband of a marriage was the main bread winner and the wife played the role of homemaker and cared for the children, the husband would most likely be required to provide some ongoing financial provision further to the divorce in order to allow the wife to find her feet financially and to gain full time employment.

Of course, there’s also the alimentary obligations owed to children of the relationship up until the age of 16, 18 or even 21 depending on the jurisdiction in which you reside. What that means is that it might be worthwhile touching base with a solicitor to find out your obligations before you begin pre-divorce negotiations.

Well you never thought it would come to this. It’s always someone else that ends up getting divorced - some other couple, right?. Actually, divorce is becoming a more frequent occurrence, and it’s a fact of modern life that marriage is now a less stable institution that was once the case. What this means is that as a man, whether or not you think you’ll end up getting divorced, it’s a good idea to be up to speed on how you can resolve the situation should it ever arise and what you can do to limit personal damage.

Pre-nuptials

A lot of people don’t like pre-nuptial agreements. Newly-weds frequently adopt the approach of trust when it comes to finances, and this is one of the most significant causes of disruption when relationships break down. Regardless of your feelings for your partner, pre-nuptial agreements are both prudent and sensible for both parties, and are by far the best way to secure a fair outcome should the marriage come to an end. Whether or not you’re the main bread winner, working out a pre-nuptial agreement is both more cost effective and less hassle when it comes to the crunch.

Pre-Divorce is a critical process in which grabbing the bull by the horns can really pay off. Approaching your former wife and trying to negotiate the separation process on amicable terms, where possible, is the most effective way to try to resolve the situation in a fair and just manner. Trying to work things out at this stage can save time and money in the litigation process, and as far as your wife is obliging it might be best to come to an agreement before rounding off your relations.

When you’re going through divorce proceedings you’re going to need to get to grips with a divorce attorney that understands your needs and views on the divorce situation. A good attorney will push for amicable resolution to avoid wasting court time and costing you a fortune. Communicate with your wife via your attorney and ask to negotiate prior to the court process if that option is available.

The key to successful divorce is communication. Opening up dialogue through legal channels or informal channels where available will help both you and your wife reach an amicable, just conclusion to your relationship and the financial implications of that.

Divorce is rarely a pleasant set of circumstances, regardless of your feelings towards your former spouse. Add to that the legal mess that can arise when it comes down to who gets the dog and which CD belongs to whom, and you’ve got a recipe for absolute disaster. The unfortunate inevitability of pulling in the lawyers can also seem like a daunting prospect particularly if you’ve never had to deal with legal matters before. When you’ve lived with your spouse for a number of years the shift to legal dealings can seem a bit cold, but nevertheless it’s the best way to resolve the situation to ensure fair dealings all round.

Before you call on the divorce attorney, the best thing to do is to try and communicate with your former spouse on a civil level in order to divide your existing assets and reach an amicable conclusion - this will avoid the hassle and expense of going through court, not to mention the bitter taste the judicial process can leave.

Even if you do manage to work something out there is still the little factor of the court separation, meaning you will both require some form of legal representations even if it is to rubber stamp the arrangements you’ve already made. When it comes down to choosing your lawyer, if you don’t already have one, here’s a few things you should consider to make the most of your situation:

• Qualifications - Is your attorney fully qualified to practice in your jurisdiction?
• Experience - Is your attorney experienced in dealing with divorce cases? Not all lawyers are divorce attorneys, so make sure whoever you choose has a specialism in family law.
• Expectations - There’s never any harm in asking a prospective attorney what he can expect to achieve on your behalf. Remember though, don’t just go with what you want to hear. Ask for a run-down of the law and what you can expect as a likely outcome.
• Price - Never seek the advice of an attorney blind. Ask upfront how much you’re going to have to pay for his or her services, and ask for a fixed project price rather than an hourly rate where possible.

Remember - a divorce attorney is there to serve your needs. And whilst it might be more important to vet your choice if you require legal negotiations prior to the case, it’s still a good idea to make sure your dealing with someone who ticks all the boxes.